Home > ZFG Original Aricles > What is a “Bad Bitch”?

What is a “Bad Bitch”?

I just feel like it’s our responsibility to raise social awareness and shit on important topics like this.

This is getting out of hand. The term “bad bitch” is being tossed around more often than a Kardashian girl at the ESPYs.

State The Problem

So what exactly is a “bad bitch”? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? I’d like to believe rappers started this term… so with the help of them, we will come to a conclusion by the end of this article.

RESEARCH… THE EARLY DAYS OF BAD BITCHES

My very first memory of the term “bad bitch” came in 2005 when Webbie and Trina teamed up for this song called “Bad Bitch”

Webbie opens up the song with  ” The girl be, cooking and cleaning and cleaning and cooking , She be, constantly douching and cleaning her pussy”

AND WITHIN 20 seconds, Webbie already had me uncomfortable as fuck. This MAN just said “douching”. Is he really talking about feminine hygiene in a rap song? Son… hopefully thats the last time I hear a dude use the word “douching”. But you gotta understand, 2005 was a fucked up time for hip hop. Eminem had just dropped Encore where he had a song called “Big Weenie” and “Ass Like That” where he rapped an entire song in his Triumph, The insult Comic Dog voice.

We let that shit fly. Which flooded in a whole slew of retarded rappers. Literally… I think Webbie is slow. Like short bus slow. Which is why we are so confused about what “bad bitches” actually are.

The people setting trends in 05 were the type of guys that wore knee pads and helmets when they played basketball.

Type of dudes that eat salad with their fingers.

Type of dudes that go blind from staring at the sun too long.

Type of dudes that are still taking Flintstone vitamins when they are 22 yrs old.

Anyways, back to the topic.

Webbie says “shes cooking” … well, that narrows down our field a good bit. That means we have already narrowed our possibilities of Bad Bitches down to 20% of women under 25.

The fact that she has to be able to cook automatically cancels out Amber Rose… because that poor girl cant even read recipes

Yeezy didnt teach her well… basic reading skills that is.

Then Trina comes into the song talking a whole bunch of jibberish..

Ok …to be honest, Ive never listened to her part because I dont like female rappers. But I do know she had a song called “Da Baddest Bitch”

So I watched some of the video and she is fucking mad as hell for Warren Sapp cheating on her.

Yep.. thats Warren Sapp. Yeah… the dude in the sparkly red vest.

I’ll say this.. if Trina is the baddest bitch… Being a bad Bitch is the worst compliment you will ever recieve.

Shes in the video just swinging her metal baseball bat at everything. Yo.. maybe thats the reason he broke up with your crazy ass.

Everyone loved Carrie Underwood so much since she was swinging that Lousiville slugger at everyone’s headlights. I guess women think that shit is cool. Since thats the mature thing to do…

There are cheaters out there… and some may still be a gentleman even when you are wrecking their shit…

I just hope you dont try and pull that shit on Chris Brown

Anyways, Trinas lyrics are the most disgusting lyrics I have ever heard in my life.

“See I fuck him in the living room,
While his children home,


I make him eat it while my period on,
A little nasty ho, red-bone but a classy ho”

WHO RAISED YOU? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

DO YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT MOUTH?

You know damn well there were 13 yr old girls singing this shit when it came out too.

Plus she’s up in this video looking like a Chicken head.

Not the term “chickenhead” … she literally looks like a chicken

What We Learned About Bad Bitches Here

Rule 1. They can cook

Rule 2. They clean

Rule 3. They say the most disgusting shit I have ever heard in my entire life.

The next song that really popularized bad bitches was Ying Yang Twins feat Mike Jones- “Badd”

As much terrible rapping that happened during this era… they produced some of the greatest club bangers of all time.

Every time this shit came on in the club… guys who couldnt even dance were just getting reckless.

The crunk era  made us think we had super powers and cud do what we wanted on the dance floor

^^^ See what Im talking bout?

This song was playing when that shit went down. That girl probably thinks she’s a “bad bitch”

NAH. That’s a hoodrat. But hey.. maybe a hoodrat and bad bitch are the same… thats why we r doin this research.

“I’m looking for a dime, That’s top of the line, Cute face, small waist, with a big behind”

Rule 4. She is hott

Just when I thought there was nothing positive about Bad Bitches, they PULLED ME RIGHT BACK IN.

Mike Jones manages to drop one of the creepiest lines of all time to close out his verse.

“crept up behind her, Told her it was time to, let a player like me… get in that vagina”

Seriously though.. I can only imagine how pleased girls were when they turned around and saw…

Has a guy ever said that? I hope not… If so, the result was probably

But why would I question Mike Jones? Absolute stud who has stood the test of time.

First Trina’s lyrics, now this shit.

Rule 5. Bad bitches have no standards for pick up lines

I dunno what I hate more right now… bad bitches or the rapping during this era.

Then the Ying Yang Twins come in and provide their much needed input of what a bad bitch is

“She’s a ghetto ass bitch with some ghetto ass game,
in the club where she work and she poppin’ that thing”

First off… Who’s fucking idea was this? ^^^^ Where will these girls be in 10 years?

Anyways, If you are dancing with a girl at a club that has her hands on the ground…

You might as well just book your doctors appointment in advance… cuz an STD is on the way homie.

In fact, you may get a bacterial infection just from her dirty ass hands.

Rule 6. She likes popping that thing

RESEARCH.. RECENT HISTORY

Honestly… I cant take much more of breaking down those horrible lyrics from the 2005 era.. I gotta move on.

Kanye seems to be very qualified in the Bad Bitches field.

Here are some examples:

“And if I don’t use rubbers, need more covers
House keeping, I mean gawd damn one time
Let it be a bad bitch sweeping”

I tell you what.. It seems as if the most important aspect of being a bad bitch is cleaning and cooking.

“I was drinkin’ earlier now I’m driving
Where the bad bitches huh? Where ya hidin’?”

Yo Kanye, if you need some bad bitches, just follow all the girls I follow on Twitter. They all claim to be bad bitches. Your welcome.

Rule 7. Bad Bitches are rare.

“I’m here, it’s the misogyny,bad bitches massaging me”….

“You know how many bad bitches I own?”

Wait a second….

Is anyone else getting the thought that Kanye may be making these bad bitches his slaves??

He has them massaging him, sweeping for him… and even goes as far to say he owns them. Im on to you Kanye

You thought the Penn St scandal was big.. wait til the cops find out Yeezy is holding these bitches hostage

According to this picture, yes... I know how many bad bitches you own, Kanye. 10.

Rule 8. Kanye West may literally own you

Another Recent song that chants “one big room, full of bad bitches” is Kreayshawn’s “Gucci Gucci”

I dunno why she thinks she’s a bad bitch… but whatever. Im not here to check bad bitch certification cards. Ill give her the benefit of the doubt.

She says, “Gucci Gucci, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, Prada, The basic bitches wear that shit, so I don’t even bother”

You heard her ladies, that cancels all of you out

Rule #9. Bad Bitches dont wear Gucci, Louis, Fendi, or Prada.

So does that mean the Devil isnt a bad bitch?

See what i did there?

Then she says,

“So posh, nails fierce with the gold gloss,
Which means nobody getting over me, I got the swag and it’s pumping out my ovaries”

as a guy, I know there is a lot of mystery goin on in that area for women.

But I never had 1 class that ever reported swag pumping out of the female reproductive system.

Kreayshawn... are you responsible for this swag juice?

If any of you ladies ever do start leaking the swag juice out of your ovaries, call yah boy up.

As disgusting as that sounds, it sounds like it would be history witnessing it.

Rule 10. Swag has to pump out of your ovaries

I had no idea when I started this fucking article that I would have to talk so much about the female reproductive system.

Now do you understand why I hate female rappers?

I do understand why Kreayshawn thinks she has swag though…

She has a lot of responsibility.

If she sees her shadow on February 2nd, that means there is 6 more weeks of winter

Rule #11 You may or may not look like a groundhog.

Data Analysis

I cant lie, when I started this project.. I thought it was gonna be a simple project.

I always thought a bad bitch was simple… just a really hott girl. I had no idea bad bitches had so many layers of horrible… and kinda good qualities.

I think its sad that women are “proud” of being a bad bitch now. Do you girls not listen to anything that guys say in these rap songs? Then again, Nicki Minaj, Kreayshawn, and Trina dont give you much to look up to either…

I hope the term bad bitch is extinct from here on out… unless of course, you fit all the criteria that I just pointed out

And since when is it cool to be called a bitch? I called girls “bitches” 41 times in this article. Actually that 1 made it 42 times. I hope that makes you mad.

With that said, I have a message to the self proclaimed “bad bitches” from none other than my favorite artist J.Cole aka the bad bitch whisperer

“Now girl you is fine, ain’t no doubt about it…But why else you think he hit it and forgot about it, That’s cause your mind don’t match with your ass got”

Defintion

Bad Bitch (n) – an atrractive, rare, confident female with above average household skills who is looked down on by the community and has lower than average intelligence.Who may look like a groundhog at times…. And may be owned by Kanye West.

Examples of Bad Bitches

Very hard to find women that fit all the criteria.. but I did it.

The young Martha Stewart

How many of you knew Martha Stewart was like that back in the day?

And the maid from American Horror Story

And there you have it… the bad bitch bible.

 

Categories: ZFG Original Aricles
  1. Andrew
    September 11, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    Haha!! great article had me in stitches. Hopefully that annoying term “bad bitch” will be extinct soon

  2. Ttrouble
    September 20, 2012 at 11:28 pm

    when somebody come up wit a more positive term ill stop sayin bad bitch but for now bad bitch is just what we say. Great article doe The guy knockin the girl off the stage probably the funniest thing i ever seen. Iaughed so loud my mama heard me upstairs and now she tellin me to get off the the god damn computer cause im supose to be washin the dishes. oh and that mike jones no game havin ass. whats better a broke nigga wit game (me) or a rich nigga wit no game (mike jones)?

  3. lilacvioletbell007
    January 9, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    BEST FUCKIN Article Ever!! Love the satirical humour and the whole parody of this “bad bitch” shit!

  4. Myty
    January 16, 2013 at 5:36 am

    GREAT ARTICLE! ok so i’m like a year late but was bored a decided to google what a bad bitch was and this popped up. i guess u can add kim kardashian to the list since kanye will be owning her pretty much since she is prego. also feed up with the bad bitch era. one point most females that are on housing assistance and food stamps that manage to keep their hair shoe and clothes fly claim to be bad bitches too. i really dont understand why when they are getting their stuff from evryone that works. so does that make society bad bitches?!

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